Nina Blythe
Dr. Tinberg
English 101
March 2, 2012
Eating Disorders
In todays society there is so much stress on young people to look a certain way. Media is constantly putting out the idea that if you aren’t thin or in perfect shape; you are not beautiful. So girls and even young men feel a lot of pressure to be in ideal shape, and are taking dangerous risks to look the way they want. Eating disorders are becoming more and more common with teens and young adults-1 in 6 girls have developed some sort of eating disorder by the time they reach their sophomore year if high school.
I know this from a personal experience. My sister struggled to look perfect all through high school. She was a perfectionist to an extreme, and she would throw up after every meal. She lost 20 lbs in 3 months and no one noticed. She had a serious case of bulimia and body dysmorphic disorder. Body dysmorphic disorder is a disorder that causes you to see your body differently than it actually is, and most of the time it’s in a negative view. She thought she was much larger than she actually was, so as soon as my family found out we got her help. She started going to therapy and slowly realized that its okay to not be extremely skinny, and you need to be comfortable in your own skin and that’s what makes a person beautiful.
Although she still has doubts about the way she looks she found healthy alternatives to lose weight and get fit. Dieting and exercise can make you so much healthier and help you look fit and beautiful. I believe that people should talk about this with their friends, families, and students, and let them know it’s okay to not be a size zero! Confidence and being comfortable with yourself is what makes you beautiful!
Peer Review Reading Journal
ReplyDeleteReviewer’s Name: Krystal Bettencourt
Date: 4/4/12
Partner’s Name and Title of Paper Reviewed: Nina Blythe
In your own words, fully and with precision, describe what the assignment is asking the writer (your partner) to do? Please use your own words rather than merely quote from the assignment.
• In this assignment you have to specify your intended reader. Your reader must know what your problem is; it must be provided in a clear statement of a local and solvable problem. You must have research and context about you problem, you must give evidence and draw from a reputable new account. You must come up with solutions; also you must provide an analysis of the costs and benefits for your proposal. Also you must have in-text citation when drawing from your source and listed the source according to the MLA style.
To what extent has your partner met the expectations of the assignment? Please pick a passage as illustration and describe what works well there. Again, try to use your own words.
Nina did a good job with this assignment when I started to read this I automatically I knew what the problem is. She also put a statistic about eating disorders. For example “Eating disorders are becoming more and more common with teens and young adults-1 in 6 girls have developed some sort of eating disorder by the time they reach their sophomore year if high school”. I also like how she has a story to relate to this problem.
What area needs more work? Why? Please pick a passage as illustration and describe what isn’t working.
Nina I think that you need to come up with more solutions and your need to provide analysis of the costs and benefits that this will give to people. You also need to put were you got your source from. I also think you need more evidence and a how can people solve this problem.
Please indicate TWO questions about the draft and at least ONE suggestion for ways to improve it.
How can you make solutions for this problem?
What are some costs and benefits to this problem?
I see only one draft.
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